Ordinarily Marilee

Check out my photography...

2010-11-26T20:22:00.001-08:00

http://borrowthismoment.blogspot.com/

Weekend.

2010-01-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

Weekends are amazing.
Enough said.

Hope you all are having great ones so far :)

Love.

Just because I love this.

2010-01-21T18:51:00.001-08:00

Basically.

2010-01-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

I love Anthropologie.
Just saying.

Praise.

2010-01-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

I have an addition to my list from my last post.

However, this isn't something that I don't like about school.
Quite the opposite actually.

Tonight I remembered how amazing it feels to worship God with hundreds [maybe thousands] of other college students; the body of Christ.

I may have loud suitemates, unreliable showers, and a fridge that runs all the time; but I also have an amazing group of Christ-followers that I have the privilege of worshiping with on a weekly basis.

I also am so blessed to have a great Bible study that prays for me, loves on me, and keeps me accountable daily.

I wouldn't trade either of those for anything.

New.

2010-01-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of classes.
A little nervous, excited, exhausted.

Over break I seemed to forget how much I hate brickyard preachers, inconsistent shower temperatures, loud dorms, cramped classrooms, and dirty bathrooms.

I guess it's all part of the college experience.

My acceptance.

2010-01-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is probably one of the most personal blogs that I've written so far, but I think it's important to put out there.

One of my friends challenged me today to make a list of my insecurities and then turn them into positives. So here's to acceptance:

I'm not the prettiest. But I am coming to accept my appearance and love myself for the flaws that make me who I am.
I'm not the strongest person. But I've proven to myself that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be.
I'm not the "best Christian." But I realize that I make mistakes and need the amazing grace of God through Christ.
I'm not in a relationship. But I've given my heart to God and am trusting that He will give it to the right guy in His time, not at my convenience.

If you get a chance, try making your own list.

Love & Acceptance,

Trust.

2010-01-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3:5-6

Quick quiz.

2010-01-06T21:24:00.000-08:00

I'm currently feeling:

A. Tired.
B. Sick.
C. Nervous.
D. Excited.
E. Frustrated.
F. All of the above.

The correct answer is F, all of the above.

I'm tired... today was a long day.
I'm sick... mom & dad are both sick too. Stupid winter colds.
I'm nervous... my new semester starts in 4 days and while I'm looking forward to going back to school, I'm not so much looking forward to my new classes.
I'm excited... about life. Today I spend a lot of the day researching some options for internships as well as short term and long term volunteer opportunities.
I'm frustrated... with iTunes. I tried to download the same video 32 times. All Apple support tells me is to keep clicking the download button. Obviously, it's not working. Thanks a lot Apple.

All of that being said, now I will go and change A.
Helllllllllo bedtime.

Truth.

2009-12-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

Remember the true meaning of Christmas.
Christ, in his utter perfection, came to our world of sin to save us from death. Because of his amazing sacrifice, we can have eternal life with him forever.

Merry Christmas!

Operation Beautiful.

2009-12-20T17:35:00.001-08:00

Operation Beautiful is something that I got into a couple of months ago through Gives Me Hope. It's a blog that works to decrease fat talk through the posting of anonymous uplifting post-it notes. The notes have phrases like, "Smile, you're beautiful." or "Your beauty shines."

I've started posting notes all around on mirrors and in random places. I have no way of knowing who has seen them, but I hope that my notes have brought a little joy into someone's life. I've started carrying around post-its and a pen in my purse for anytime I feel like spreading a little love.

Love love love,

Be the Match.

2009-12-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

I just joined the Be the Match National Bone Marrow Donation registry.

I don't know if anything has ever felt more right.

You should join too.
You could be the reason someone lives to see another day.
Give life.
Give hope.

Wow.

2009-12-02T20:05:00.001-08:00

I just had the most amazing devotion I think I've ever had in my life.

I've been struggling lately.
I've felt like the world has constantly been tearing me down and there's nothing I can do about it.

I was praying when God revealed to me how broken my heart has been. Worries, anticipations, crushed dreams, and stress had broken it. It hadn't been completely whole and never available to devote fully to my relationships with friends and family or most importantly, my relationship with God.

I asked God to take my heart, mend it, and keep it.
I don't want it anymore.

As I was finishing my prayer, Let your Love by Avalon came on through my headphones. I was on Pandora and it was a song I'd never heard before, so I listened to the lyrics closely. I am so in awe. Here's the chorus.

Take my heart make it strong
Take my life from now on, I'm running out of hope
Running out of strength
So let Your love take over me

It ends with,
Come set my heart free
Come and take me over.

So amazing.
Thank you Lord.

Thanksgiving.

2009-11-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

I'm about to get picked up from school to go home for Thanksgiving break. I'm so excited to see family and catch up with friends that I haven't seen since August. I've been so blessed to be able to keep up with most of my friends that I was very close with in high school. Oh, the joys of social networking sites and text messaging.

Selfless.

2009-11-23T13:56:00.000-08:00

I just read this article and it brought tears to my eyes.

It's about Golden Gate bridge ironworkers. Cowboys in the Sky, they're called. They've been doing suicide prevention for people threatening to jump off the Golden Gate bridge for years. All the bridgeworkers take their turn and at least two of them go out on every rescue. And the amazing thing is, they do it voluntarily.

They're a perfect example of selflessness.

Hello Peace Corps.

2009-11-19T15:37:00.000-08:00

Joining the Peace Corps after graduating from college is something that I've started looking into just recently. I went to Malawi, Africa in the year 2000 and fell in love with the people there. The faces and love of those people are something that I've carried with me since that experience. Those people are some of the most genuine, amazing, happy people that I've ever met in my life, yet they live in such impoverished circumstances. It's incredible and so very humbling.

Since I've always wanted to help people and I love the people of Africa, doesn't it make sense that I join the Peace Corps and serve in Africa after I graduate? It seems like common sense-- I can't believe I didn't see it sooner.

I went to the Peace Corps informational meeting today and loved it. While it's scary to think of being in a different country (and continent!!) for 2 years without speaking the language of the people, I'm so excited about this possibility. Though I probably won't be able to share my faith with these people, I'll still be able to spread God's amazing love, while representing our great country.

I'm so ready.

Meteors!

2009-11-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Leonoid meteor shower! Despite being exhausted after 6 hours straight of homework, my roommate Alanna and I braved the cold at 1 in the morning to go watch. Although space.com and other sources said the most meteors would appear around 3-4 in the morning, we decided to go earlier, see a few meteors, and then go to bed. Despite being early to see the majority of the meteors, there were tons of students laying out in the Court of Carolinas. We laid our towels out on the sidewalk and watched the sky for around two hours, seeing three meteors in that time.

Even though we only saw three meteors, I relished the opportunity to relax, lie under the stars, and marvel at the beauty of God's creation. It's not very often that we think about laying out under the stars, but I think I'm going to start being intentional about doing it regularly. Staring at the massive universe that God has created made me feel so insignificant. But then it hit me... despite my utter insignificance, God still loves me more than I could ever imagine. And that is a beautiful realization.

As I was lying there, "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns kept repeating in my head. It explained exactly how I was feeling. Here's the chorus:

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Alanna and I watching for meteors!

Have a wonderful rest of the day!

Wonderful.

2009-11-15T11:52:00.001-08:00

Life is just gorgeous sometimes.

This morning was church. We have a new organ and it filled the sanctuary with sweet, sweet music. Our last hymn was Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee and the combination of the new organ and the sound of a hundred people singing as loud as they can was awe-inspiring. (It was even rumored that the organist blew out a speaker.)

Then I decided to spend some time outside. It's a beautiful November day here in North Carolina. The temperature is 75, it's sunny out, and all is right with the world. I took my camera and spent some quality time with the sweetest dog in the world! Here are some pictures of our time together.

I'm off to go spend some more time outside.
Love Love Love.

So cute!

2009-11-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

With Christmas quickly approaching, I've started working on my gifts for this year. I love making gifts, so I've been looking on the web for inspiration. The other day, I stumbled over this site.

The blog is filled with cute, handmade crafts that you can buy, or can serve as inspiration for your own creations.

Here's a taste of a few of my favorite crafts.

Enjoy!

Relief.

2009-11-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

Today I had a meeting with an advisor for the College of Education here at N.C. State. I had some questions about the possibility of teaching, and he offered to meet with me and answer any questions that I had about the programs here.

Recently I've been pretty stressed about the future. The unlimited amount of options I have for the rest of my life is daunting and at times overwhelming. For the last year, I've felt that God has been calling me to counseling. Lately, I'm not so sure. I've been wrestling with the thought of going into the Peace Corps, as well as possibly working for a nonprofit organization.

I was a little nervous before my meeting because I wasn't quite sure what to expect. When I walked in to the office of the advisor, he greeted me with a huge smile and my nervousness went away. We talked a little about where I was from, and even about my church and faith. We both realized a few minutes into the meeting that teaching wasn't something that I was passionate about and it wasn't something I was interested in pursuing. Even though he's specifically an advisor for the College of Education and couldn't help me with anything outside of teaching, he urged me to continue talking. He reassured me that I would eventually find the career that was right for me, and all I needed to do was to follow my heart.

The thirty minutes that I spent with him was more valuable to me than he could probably imagine. I'm touched that he took time out of his busy schedule to allow me to vent about my future, even though it had nothing to do with his area of expertise. He could have let me leave after the five minutes that we both realized teaching wasn't for me, but instead he let me talk out all of the inhibitions and stresses I've been worrying about lately. He made me feel great about my options and reassured that I'm on the right track. It's amazing how God works through situations and people where you least expect it. I definitely didn't go into my meeting with the knowledge that I would be leaving with a sense of relief and peace about something that's been weighing on my heart; but I did.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Hope.

2009-11-06T18:37:00.000-08:00

In a world full of "FMLs" and "MLIAs," optimism is definitely something that we are lacking.

That's where
Gives Me Hope
comes in.

(Click on Gives Me Hope to go to the site.)

It's a site full of stories, submitted by people around the world.
People who have hope despite circumstances that seem hopeless.
People who have hope because they've experienced God's amazing love and grace.
People who have hope because of the kindness of others.
People who are willing to share this hope.

Here are a few of my favorites:

I woke up one morning to hear the birds outside my window and my mother cooking breakfast downstairs. I've never cried so much in my entire life. I had been deaf since the age of 8. GMH

A little girl was dying of cancer and her younger brother had a match for the bone marrow she needed. The doctors told him it was a matter of life and death. After he had the surgery, he asked the doctors how long he had to live. He thought if he gave his bone marrow to let his sister live he would die but he did it anyway. GMH

My friend's younger brother just came out of 5 weeks of coma. When asked him what had "woken him up" he replied "I heard mom crying and I had to comfort her". GMH

Gives Me Hope gives me hope.

Thanks to Katie for introducing me to this site.

Lists!

2009-10-25T11:42:00.000-07:00

I love journaling.

It's always been a de-stresser for me and I love looking back on what I've written years later and laughing about how things have changed. Recently though, I've been getting bored with the same old, same old... writing about my day, relationships with friends, etc. and have started getting creative. I've started a new journal, but this one is only lists! I've always been a list person; cluttering my desk at school are tons of to-do lists and lists of places I want to go and things I want to do. This is great for me because now all of my lists are in the same place, and I can look at them as much as I want to, and add to them when I hear about a new place I want to travel to, or read a new book that I really like.
Here's a little glimpse into some of my lists:

Dreams for the future

Change the world.
Adopt a child.
Go to graduate school.

Fears

Bugs.
Sickness of a loved one.
Sharks.

Favorite Candy

Candy corn.
Heath bars.
Pull and peel Twizzlers.

Things I love about my family

Day or night, I know they're there.
I always have someone to talk to.
The ability to make friends wherever they go.

Meaningful Bible verses

Colossians 2:14
Phillippians 4:6
Psalm 73:23-26

Things I love about home

The smell.
Bubble baths!
My bed.

Some other lists are: Great moments in time, Scary movies I've seen, Reasons I love fall, Dreams, Why I love my hometown, Favorite books, movies, tv shows, Favorite quotes...

Try it :)

Psalm 23

2009-10-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

I love this.

Lead me to the Cross.

2009-10-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

At Crusade we sing a song that I was unfamiliar with until I started going. I did some research and it's done by Hillsong United, the youth praise band for the famous Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia.

The song is about leaving everything to follow Christ, humbling yourself so that you can fully see his glory, and giving up your selfish ambitions and trusting that the Lord will provide. I LOVE it. I feel like I get new meaning out of the lyrics every time we sing it.

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh

Bore my sin and death

Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

Love,

GO PACK!

2009-09-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

So basically;
I'm in LOVE with Wolfpack football.
Today we played Pittsburgh and it was a great game! We won 38-31 after being behind and/or tied for the whole game. And even though it sprinkled the whole game, Carter-Finley was packed.
My voice is almost gone.
My hoodie is soaking wet.
I have mud all over my legs.
But it was so great!!!

Loves.

2009-09-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

I'm utterly blessed.

I thought I would start out by saying that.
Life's not always great, but who said it would be?
God has been so good to me.
So today I thought I would list a few of my favorite things;
Things that make my heart smile.

· Fresh squeezed lemonade.
· Handbags.
· Old pictures that bring back all kinds of memories.
· Cowboy Boots.
· Riding in the car at night with the windows down and music blasting.
· Journal time with the roomie.
· Late night phone calls.
· Treasure boxes.
· Fall weather when it’s just cool enough for a light jacket.
· Good hair days.
· Wolfpack Pride.
· Scarves.
· Tailgating.
· Free t-shirts.
· Clothes fresh out of the dryer.
· Golden Grahams.

Love. Love. Love.

College

2009-08-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

[SCARY]
[Crazy]
[Exciting]
[Fun]
[HECTIC]
[Insane]
[Exhausting]
[Exhilarating]

Compassion

2009-07-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

My God is mighty to save.

He's working wonders through organizations like Compassion International. Compassion acts as an advocate for children throughout the world who would otherwise have no voice and no chance due to spiritual, economic, social, and physical poverty. There are over 5,000 references in the Bible to caring for widows and orphans. Why aren't we doing more to help these people?

I was at Student Life Camp this past week at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia. Our camp director, Graham Hill, told us that a sacrifice is not a sacrifice if you're not giving up something. What would it take for us to skip the weekly Starbucks coffee so that a child in a third world country could eat another day? What if a small sacrifice on our part could allow a child to live another day?

Compassion (n.) : a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another that is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Poverty is not the lack of material things, it is the lack of hope.
- Graham Hill

http://www.compassion.com

This has been the hardest year yet.

2009-07-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

Rest in peace, Sophie Claire Martin.
03-18-1991 - 07-10-2009

Wedding!

2009-07-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Rusty and Laila Purmul Lanicek!
June 30, 2009

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

2009-06-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

I hate change. I think it's natural to. It's threatening. It threatens our way of life that's so comfortable and so easy.

Today as I was making my class schedule for the fall semester, I got a call from one of my best friends asking if my parents could be her reference for the Navy. While I am studying about neurons and Bioethics next year in college, she'll be studying about the power needed to propel a ship through the water and allegiance to her country. While I've been single for a while, she's preparing for her wedding just around the corner. While I'll be trying to balance friends, family, and school, she'll be trying to balance being a wife and a member of the armed forces with a husband in a different military branch. Change. Is. Scary.

With the death of my grandpa back in April, this was the first Father's Day we've had to spend without him. It was especially hard on my mom. As if the fact that it was her first Father's Day without her father wasn't hard enough, it was also her birthday. She reminisced about last year on Father's Day, when her dad called and all she wanted to do was get back to whatever she was doing. And now that he's gone, she would give anything to talk to him one more time. Change. Is. Sad.

I was reading last night about the crucifixion of Christ, and tried to place myself into the position of the disciples and friends of Jesus. They were also going through a time of turmoil and change. Their way of life and what they stood for were threatened. Being forced to live without their leader, teacher, adviser, and friend must have been so frightening for them. They probably doubted themselves, as well as their faith. How could he die? Why would God allow this to happen? But what the disciples didn't realize was that Christ would be redeemed. He would conquer death and rise from the dead. Change. Is. Redeeming.

I learned a valuable lesson from this story. That change isn't always bad; it simply forces us to gain a new perspective on our lives. It forces us to focus on the future instead of the past. It forces us to look forward to the time when everything won't be so sad and scary, when everything will be redeemed.

Conclusion.

2009-06-03T16:04:00.000-07:00

Today was my last full day of high school. It's so insane to me. It really does seem like the other day that I had my first day of high school. I was so nervous that I got up at 5:00 that morning and did my hair for 2 hours until my mom dragged me away from the mirror and made me leave for school. I was so so so nervous... and then on the way to my first class I got lost and then when I finally found the right staircase, I tripped and almost faceplanted. I just remember going home that day and crying my eyes out because I was convinced my whole high school career was ruined and I would never have friends because I was a freak. 4 years later, I like to think I'm a bit more mature and more able to keep things in perspective. More friendly, and more outgoing. More accepting of others, and more accepting of myself. These past four years have been filled with tons of different emotions. Grief when I lost my grandfather, anxiety when my brother enlisted in the Army, regret, joy, love, friendship, insecurity, doubt, hope... Through the fights, the laughs, the happy-dances, and the tears, I've realized that everything I've done and everything I've experienced thus far has molded me into who I am, and I'm so thankful. God has blessed me more than I could ever say or even comprehend, and that's my conclusion to this chapter in my life. I'm excited, nervous, and hopeful about all of the new adventures that await me, and I'm going into them knowing one simple thing that has never ceased to reassure me when everything seems to be falling apart. I won't be alone.

About me - read between the lines.

2009-06-01T15:03:00.000-07:00

The name’s Marilee. I’m going to be a freshman at N.C. State next year and I’m so excited. It’s taken 18 years, but I finally feel like I’m becoming who I’m supposed to be. Although I try not to, I usually always end up looking back at the past and regretting decisions that I’ve made. I love going to the beach, and to my hometown, Sparta. I play the guitar and I love music and anything that comes from the heart. I love all of my family and friends more than they’ll ever know. I sing in the youth worship band at church and love it. It’s so awesome when everyone comes back and we all play at church. I love learning about the brain, and I plan to major in psychology next year. You’ll probably be able to tell if I’m comfortable with you. I’m just a girl, trying to live a life that reflects the amazing love I've been given by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I love the NLT.

2009-05-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. (Romans 5:6.) God canceled the records that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ's cross. (Colossians 2:14.)

Love always leaves a significant mark. ♥

Whispers in the dark.

2009-05-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

I love Skillet.